Spontaneity!!!!!!!!
I love when things happends without no planes or clue. It's just that you kind of enjoy so much more than when you plan things,you have expectations,hope of things that you might want or thinks is going to happend. The negative part is that you might get disappointed or not have as fun as you thought you wore. The sad part is that people don't do anything without planning anymore especially in sweden,where everybody is stressed and running and have so much to do that they don't stop and just have fun around friends and taking a big breath and just live. In other countrys they call eachother or just go to a friends house without calling even,everything is more a live and people enjoy of being togehter,here is like we are all bears,we hide in the winter and we come out during the summer,its so sad no wonder people move and they stop living. I wish i could experiance what life,people,music is all about in the streets or just in poeples faces,i had a little bit of that today,i felt like i did when i was 16 and i use to hook up with friends and we would barbecue,bathe or meet at someones house and watch a movie. It felt good and well spontaneously. We all need more of that.More music,more laughter,more happines and more dancing in the street!
Lesson of the day:
Live today and think about tomorow.
Make things happend now!!
keep good friends around you.
Until Tomorow
Peace,Love & Devotion
XOXO MISS C
Positiv vibes
Its so important with positiv influence by things and what people gives us. I just got a lot of positiv vibes and thoughts of a very important person in my life that i haven't seen in a while. I had forgotten what kind of person she is. She has always been a good friend of mine and i had mist her so much so im glad she is back in my life and i can't wait to spend some more time with her and learn with open mind and heart about her and the way she thinks and analyse things. It could really help me develop as a person and the quatiys that i have. My mind map in my head is getting easier and better and it's all because of her i mean it. She has bean my insperation and motivation to belive more in myself and to start doing things for me and nobody else THANK YOU!! We really need a person,a guide who can help us and give us guidence through life. And its better when its a friend who knows you,who cares about you and wants the best for you. I feel that the path is opening and im opening to the possibility that i could come to be someone important and do things that i might like,who knows!
Lesson of day:
Don't give up!
Your guide is beside you.
A friend is more than just a shoulder to cry on.
A old friend from your past can help you more than you think.
Until tomorow to see another beautiful friend.
Peace,Love & Devotion
XOXO MISS C
twist and turn.
Don't you love it when you are waiting for an answer and it takes so long for you to hear and when you finally do it's wonderfoul and makes you let everything go and just have fun? Well i just had ones of those moments. It was wonderful and now i can let everything go and move forward. My life hasen't tourned out the way a guess i thought it would but things are changing every day and these moments of happiness and answers iv'e bean wanting to hear is here and i couldn't be more happier about that. We just need to hear what people really think so we can move forward with our life and process everything. Does that sound logic? Well it does to me so now im in a new chapter in my life,im going to try seeing things in a more positiv way and try to capture the old claudia in me,the one i was, if thats possible. Women have a easy way of holding on to things,we have a hard time to let go if we don't finish what we started or if we are not sure of something,we need to ask cuestions and we do need to talk about things until we feel better,until we feel safe again. I know for men we are pain in the butt,why cain't we just let it go and move on with our lifes and why why why do we always have to talk about our feeling all the time?? Right?? Well we have our way to deal with things while men,they need bear,fast food a game and friends to think and just to try to process what's happening. Or they just forget and acts like nothing has happend. It's funny how people think and works.
Lesson od the day:
Im beginning to be a typical women.
Never ne ashame to be a women.
never let go of talking about your feelings.
we need to hear the ugly truth sometimes.
sometimes a lie helps.
Until tomorow
Peace,Love & Devotion
XOXO MISS C
Friends-Love
There is a fine line between frienship and relationship. I mean what's the most important ship? A friend who is always there or a person that you really love and could have a future with?
I dont really know where the line goes. What do you listen to? Who do you take first every case and day of your life? You never fight with a friend because of a man/girl right? But to you leave your love behind for a friend? If a friend told you,breake with him/her they are not worth it,do we listen? If a friend told you stop giving his/her all attention,you should be more with your friends,do we do as they tell us? If a friend sais don't answer the phone he/she is always calling you,and when you do answer they scream and they say hang up the phone live her/him alone for ones? Do we do just that?
When a boyfriend/girlfriend tells you: You are always with your friends and never with me,you always go out with them but never with me,you never whant to do anything fun with me! Do we listen and leave our friends behind?
A lot of people don't know how to seperate the different relationships,it's not the same i guess. You say i would love to be with a person who is my best friend but you do everything with your best friend and you tell them everything right? Can you do the same with a boy/girlfriend? or can you only do that with someone you dont have any strong feelings for? You want to share more with a girl/boyfriend but can you really be yourself with them? or can you only be yourself with your friends? I think is important to get to know the one you are with,want to know every detail about the person and see if you could be with that person as a best friend,as a lover,as a partner that you never leave behind and when you come to that you well never feel that you are leaving your friends behind either.
Lesson of the day:
Don't take yourself for granted.
You are born alone and you will live and die alone.
Everything you do is for you.
We are selfesh uman kind.
It's easy to be jealous when you feel like you are alone.
Being apart of something is not feeling alone.
Until next time
Peace,Love & Devotion
XOXO MISS C
T'es Parti-Gone
T'es Parti
Y a l'homme que l'on aime
Et l'autre qu'on ne comprend pas
Si les deux sont le même
Alors lequel nous restera ?
Je ne sais pas, je ne sais plus
Lequel tu seras quand tu reviendras...
(refrain)
Y a pas que l'amour qui blesse
Y a les conséquences de certains gestes
T'es parti...
Ta famille pleure et la fête est finie
Y a pas que l'erreur qui blesse
Y a le mal de l'absence qui reste
Ce pour la vie
Mais comment as-tu pu finir ainsi ?
Y a l'homme que l'on aime
L'autre qui ne s'aime pas
Qui s'endort sur ses problèmes
Trop fier, n'en parle pas
Je ne sais pas, je ne sais plus
Et deux visages pour deux images
Oh non
Je ne sais pas, je ne sais plus
Comment te reconnaître quand tu reviendras
(refrain x4)
Lyrics By: Shy'm-T'es Parti
Gone
There's one man that you love
And another one that you don't understand
And if these two are the same
Which one will stay with us
I don't know, I don't know anymore
Which one of the two you will be when you return
There's not only love that hurts
There are also the consequneces of certain gestures
You're gone
Your family is crying and the party's over
There's not only the mistake that hurts
There's also the pain of having been abandoned that remains
That will last a whole life
But how could you end up like this
There's the man that you love and the other one that doesn't love himself
And who falls asleep in the middle of his problems
Being too proud to talk about them
I don't know, I don't know anymore
Two faces for two pictures
Oh no
I don't know, I don't know anymore
How I will recognize you when you will return
Kluven
har inga mer ord för dagens inlägg tyvärr. Känner mig vilsen,kluven,osäker och bara ensam. Kommer att vara ett avbrott från mitt flytande inlägg på bloggen men det kommer när jag mår bättre,belive me;)
Saker och ting händer i livet,antingen ger man upp och skiter i allt(springer iväg) eller så är man mogen nog och står framför porblemet eller vad det nu kan vara och försöker kämpa hur ont och hur jobbigt det än må vara.
Kärlek är jobbigt och shit vilken otur man har haft men någon dag kommer det att bli min och min soulmate kommer att märka av det,komma till mig och aldrig vilja släppa taget. En soulmate vill vara med den personen hela tiden inte ibland eller när den har lust.
Med det sagt hoppas ni får en trevlig dag vi ses när vi ses..
XOXO MISS C
Birthdays :)
The most sepcial day of the year is what? Your birthday. I really don't understand why some people don't like to celebrate their birthday. I mean is the perfect day to be happy and give thanks that you are a live and the things that we have in life. I love celebrating,is just another day to wish birthday gifts and open them to:) What?? there is nothing wrong with that,it's my day and i want all the attantion that i can get even if im the one who organizes everything. I Make sure that my day is perfect and everything goes as planned. I do this just because i love havingpoeple who i love around me and seeing them happy is my why of feeling good on my birthday. Well this day was my wondefoul brothers day actually,he turned 23 today.he is really big. I remember when he was a baby and all i wanted to do was to carry him around but i couldn't he was to big for me." As the years gone by and these are the time of our lives" reconize it well its from the days of our lives,and its true we don't really put so much thought to it. Time flys by so fast and all we want to do is to (turn back time,if only i would i had said what i still hide)-Aqua. If i think about every song has something to do that we dont appreciate the time that we have. Im just happy that im a big part of my brothers life and that i have had the opportunity to see him grow and to be a young,handsome nad a good man. I have good men in my life and he is definitely one of them!
Happy Birthday Christofer Figueroa Love you very long time;)
well i think thats enough for me.
Lesson fo the day:
Appreciate what you have.
You don't know what you have until you don't anymore.
slow slow slow
Until tomorow
Peace,Love & Devotion
XOXO MISS C
Tomorow is time for the sun to say hello:)
sure? mr/ms right?
Are we ever sure of anything in life? How can you be sure that something is right? How do you know that the right way is the surest way? Are we ever sure that we have found the right one?
Everybody wants to fint that somebody right? and we really want to be sure of that? See how those two words comebind with eachother? Thats because we need to be sure that things are right!!!
We can never be sure and we can't always be right but what we can do is to take a risk and make sure we get it right!! Things aren't always the way it suppose to be but we can hell make sure that we get it the way we wanted to be even if it dosent a100%. When a thought or a dream about the right person coming along might not be right should we give up? Or should we still have hope to se if that "RIGHT" person comes along? How do we know? A lot of cuestions and so confusing right? heheh ok sorry Il'l get to the point. Analysing about this makes you think if we really know anything about life and the cause why we are here and why its so important to be sure and to be right all the time. I mean i dont like it when im wrong but when im right im not sure that i really am. Things shange and we always have something new to learn so are we right when science tells us that we are? And can we really be sure about things? I dont know i just follow my heart and the sunset and we will se if im right about being sure:P
I know one things for sure,my heart always tells me if im in the right path so im must be doing something right even if im not sure;) And i might not know for sure that he's the one but my heart always skip a bit when im with him so what does that tell you? Is he right and can i be sure?Im i the right for him? And yes he can be sure!!
A analysing story in 01:15 at night. How fun am i;)
Good night!!
unexpected!!!
Plans,routines,expectations. Things you know is going to happend before it does. Safe?
Well we like to plan,we love it when things happends the way its suppose to. But now and then we do love our little suprises(the unexpected). When somebody does something that makes us smile extra or takes our breath away. Gives us butterflys. A friend who calls and sais "let's go out", "Come in to town and have a coffe with me or just take a walk", or when somebody just unexpected comes and ring the bell to your home and suprises you. When you resive a rose(any flower really),a hug,a big kiss,just something you didin't know was going to happend. A suprise. It dosen't have to be a big but the little things does matter. So what im trying to say is that when we do plan we expect something to happend that day,hour or month but when it dosen't happend what do we do? or how do we feel? disappointed,bad,angry,uut of energy and just wnat to give up? Well we do have to make new plans and it might go well but at the same time we just what things to go as planed. So i propose that we stop planing the little things leave that to the BIG Plans in the future andn just go with the flow,do things we like to do in the moment and it will go so much better. We are going to smile so much more and bigger than ever.
Speak Or Silence
We might think that while we speak about different things and keep the conversation going its going to be better and people might like us better right? WRONG!! Silence i kill you!!! Could work to. I mean by being silence it gives us minutes to think or to reflect,analyse or maybye just being silence. You have to have a balance between speaking and being quiet. We have to learn how to listen even when nobody is speaking. Don't get me wrong i really don't like it when its quiet. I love speaking and listening to people talk. I think it gets weird,so i try to keep the conversation going because i really don't like the silence i love the noise.
lesson of the day:
Try not to plan,just do!
The unexpected is little suprises now and then.
A phone call gives a lot.
A suprise is nice sometimes.
Not knowing makes you learn even more.
Until tomorow
Good night and sleep tight dont let the bed bugs bight;)
Peace,Love & Devotion
XOXO MISS C
Relationship!
I know that realtionships aren't easy but when its good its veryyy goood and it makes you happy. There is different types of realationships,you have father and dother,mother and dother,sisters or siblings,you have frienship and one of the most important and the most difficult is between a man and a woman. It takes time and effort for you to make everything work in realtionships. Communication,love,devotion,respect and understanding makes a succesfull relationship. Time is alsow a key to making a good story in your life. Time makes you react differently and makes you stop things before is too late. Time makes you want somebody even more and appreciate someone. It makes you think and realise what is that you want with this individual beside you.
I miss You
Is it so hard to say?
Its not that big but it is a way of putting yourself outhere and making yourself vulnerable to what the answer might be. But i miss you its not so bad after all. A person needs to hear it sometimes. It makes you happy and secure that someone is thinking about you and that you have made an impact on somebodys life. Everyone worries what people are gonna think after our death,what is it going to say on our grave stone? We want our life to mean something and we want to make a difference in somebodys life. An advice,a hand,a shoulder to cry on a friend or an impact. We want to mean something to someone who is going to remember us when we are gone. Who is going to feel it in there heart when we are not around. Women and men want to be that one to somebody and to say i miss you is a big step but its alsow necessary to say. Words can mean so much. " acction speak louder than words"? but we do need to hear the words to. You see when a person says something so meaningful it makes you heart melt,happy and you say to yourself thank good i wasent wrong about how she/he really felt about me!
Lesson of the day:
Every kind of realishionship is hard and needs time.
Don't be ever afraid to say something it might be to late when you do.
Acction do speak louder than words but words are aslo important to hear.
Remember that a picture says a 1000 words a memory for life.
Until tomorow if
Peace,Love & Devotion
XOXO MISS C
Breath!
Life is beautiful,life is powerful,life is everything you breath.
Colourful,hard,strong and breathtaking. We can do antyhing if we just breath enough. Take in every motion,energi and feeling that life gives you by breathing. Taking a big,hard breath and think about what you are doing makes you see things clearly and your answer will appear infront of you. Its not easy berathing even if its suppose to be but its very hard and it makes you confused and exhusted. Think about all you can do in life if you just bretah and how good you would feel? If we would breath together with the hearts rhythm i think that we could live longer and stronger. well there is no more to talk about i think you got my message loud and clear right?:)
Why?
The reason why im writing in english no is 1: its good for me to practice. 2: There is a lot of poeople that would like to read my blog but cain't because they dont speak swedish (of course). 3: its fun and it makes my think more i like that:)
Well until later because the day is still fresh and so clean;)
Lesson comes later alligator.
XOXO MISS C. Don't miss me 2 much;)
Baby steps
Patience,future,plans and action. Life is hard and a lot of work but iv'e learned that when you do take baby steps it does manage too resolv itself. I really dont have any patience at all. Im ready for my life too begin. I want to get married,have a family and live the life im suppose to live. My biggest dream is family. Before that i have too have a person who loves me unconditionely and wants the same dream that i have. Its not easy but its not suppose to be. Baby steps! Every step you take in life has a mening,a thought and an answer. And every answer you get,gets you closer too the dream. Adventure trough life and hardness. I have to learn how stand on my feet before i walk or run and i will ,with time. I just have to have patience. Learn,make memories through your path and the steps you take after is going to be easier and better. I just can't wait! but if i really want something in my life too last i will just have too wait and make it happend. Its not a risk if you with every step,take your time,think but still go after what you want! and as iv'e said before always listen too your heart. What you thought you wore ready for, four years ago its not the same now because with time you will get more ready and it will easier.
Well over and all stop waisting your breath on thinking to much just take baby steps and go with the flow,things will work out and if they dont,dont worry shit happends!!
Lesson of the day:
THe road is free,its in your hand and you are in command.
You can do anything you put your mind to as long as you really want it.
Things goes a round and will come back again.
With a clean conscience and real heart your will get what you deserv.
Until tomorow
Peace,Love & Devotion
XOXO MISS C
You are always on my mind,heart and soul. My dreams are yours and we share one love! <3
Ain't too proud to beg.
I know you wanna leave me,
But I refuse to let you go
If I have to beg and plead for your sympathy,
I don't mind coz' you mean that much to me
Ain't too proud to beg, sweet darlin
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Ain't to proud to plead, baby, baby
Please don't leave me, girl, don't you go
Now I heard a cryin' man,
Is half a man with no sense of pride
But if I have to cry to keep you,
I don't mind weepin' if it'll keep you by my side
Ain't to proud to beg, sweet darlin
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Ain't to proud to plead, baby, baby
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
If I have to sleep on your doorstep
All night and day just to keep you from walkin' away
Let your friends laugh, even this I can stand
Because I want to keep you any way I can
Ain't too proud to beg, sweet darlin'
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Ain't to proud to plead, baby, baby
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Now I've gotta love so deep in the pit of my heart
And each day it grows more and more
I'm not ashamed to come and plead to you baby
If pleadin' keeps you from walkin' out that door
Ain't too proud to beg, you know it sweet darlin'
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Ain't to proud to plead, baby, baby
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Lyrics By: The Temptations
Shopaholic?
Shop until you drop!! What makes people buy things? What makes people get in to the store and look at things and think do i need this?do i want this? Is it to expensive,would it look good on me? Hmm i could ware this with that and that etc. What makes people feel good about spending money,money that you could use on something else? Well im not a fashionable person,i dont care about whats out there,what kind of colour or material i should wear i just really wear anything that 1:looks good on me and my body. 2: something that fits me. 3: close i really like just for me. But now and then im starting to get more and more curious about fashion. What is fashion and what makes people eat it,dream it and well wear it. Now whats an shopaholic? its a person who needs close to feel better,to sleep better and to in way play a story everytime it puts on a new shirt,skirt,pants whaterever looks good,the person dosen´t necessary needs it or wants it. Everytime she/he has something new on,the story in his/her mind begins. Dream away that you are the center of attention,even if you dont really like it. The person normally feels alone,hungry,needs to fill an empty space, while wearing new exciting close it takes over the body and the safetyness of being in the shadows comes out. I admit it i really love shopping,in my case it makes me feel happy,i feel like a new person everytime, its like therapy for me through my close i show emotions,my mood what im doing or going to do,if feel sexy,sofisticated or just hanging out. Through close i dont have to even say a world it shows. So thats why im a little bit of an shopaholic to. I love shoes,pants(that fits,big as),jackets,scarfs,bags and jewellerys specially erraings.
Lesson of the day.
Always plan your month so you can shop.
Dont ever shop if you really can't.
Shopping is like food,to much is to heavy.
Something new is always like fresh air.
Until tomorow
I promise not to shop any more i hope:p
Peace,Love & Devotion
XOXO MISS C
You're the only one
Well I saw you with your hands above your head
Spinning around, trying not to look down
But you did, and you fell, hard on the ground
Then you stumbled around for a good ten minutes
And I said I'd never seen anyone look so dumb before
And you laughed and said I still know how to turn you on though
You're the only one who
Drags me kicking and screaming through fast dreams
You're the only one who
Knows exactly what I mean
And I probably forgot to tell you this
Like that time I forgot to tell you about the scar
Remember how uncomfortable that made you feel?
See you're not what I expected
But you're the only one who knows how to handle me
And you're such a great kisser and I know that you agree
You're the only one who
Drags me kicking and screaming through fast dreams
You're the only one who
Knows exactly what I mean
I hope you can forgive me for that time
When I put my hand between your legs
And said it was small
Cuz its really not at all
I guess there's just a part of me that likes to bring you down
Just to keep you around
Cuz the day that you realize how amazing you are
You're gonna leave me
You're the only one who
Holds my hair back when I'm drunk and get sick
You're the only one who
Knows exactly what I mean
You're the only one who
Drags me kicking and screaming through fast dreams
You're the only one who
Knows exactly what I mean
Exactly what I mean
Well I saw you with your hands above your head
Spinning around, trying not to look down
But you did, and you fell, hard on the ground
Lyrics by: Maria Mena-You're the only one
Cold.(lyrics to a song)
Never really got it right
I never stopped to think of you
I'm always wrapped up in things I cannot win
You are the antidote that gets me by
Somethin' strong like a drug that gets me
High
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so
Cold, to you, I'm sorry 'bout all the lies
Maybe in a different light
You can see me stand on my own again
'Cause now I can see me
You were the antidote that got me by
Somethin' strong like a drug that got me
High
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold
I never meant to be
So cold
I never really wanted you to see
The screwed up side of me that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep
It always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
So many things you should have known
I guess for me there's just no hope
I never meant to be so cold
What I really meant to say (Say)
Is I'm sorry for the way (Sorry for the way) I am
(I am) I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold
What I really meant to say (Say)
Is I'm sorry for the way (Sorry for the way) I am
(I am) I never meant to be so cold
Lyrics by: Crossfade-Cold
Babage that effects the most.
First guy,first kiss,first date,first butterflys,first romantic thought. First movie visit with a man/women,first dinner,firts holding hands moment,the first look that made you wanna fly away trought the sky so high and just scream. we everybody have a story behind us that is both negative and positiv but unfortunaley we have a big bagage that nobody can really take away from your memories,heart or thoughts. We really try to forget and forgive but its really hard when it takes yoy to another lever of pain. The one im talking about its heartache from the person who left you,hurt you,who was unfaithful,lied etc. There is really not an easy way to move on from that. But the thing that makes me so angry is that,lets say one day you meet a person so great,so loveable,sweet,caring,thoughtful and just perfect for you,the problem is that you don´t really know how to open,be real and let her/him in to your life because of the pain of bagage that you have. It left a scar,a whole and a black memory. But this person that came in to your life is helping the progress of pain to heal and to forget. The cuestion is, is she /he worth it? Are we made to be? Can i trust him/her? Can i really see myself in his/her future? The big cuestion is Can i take a risk,open my heart ones again,let her/him in and really just let go? Can i really put myself through everything again? Is he/she worth every pain that i might go trough AGAIN?
My own opinion is you dont really know what might happend. Not every realationship that you have is going to be the same,he/she is not going to react the same regardless of your experience and your pain that you might have. You always have to turn the page and start again or else you might say after a while THE BEST THAT EVER HAPPEND TO ME IS NOT HERE TO SHARE EVERYTHING AND I LET HIM/HER GET AWAY,DO I HAVE A CHANCE?, everytime i get in to a new relationship i try to put my bad memories,and bad bagage a side and think i dosent matter what happends as long as i've tried,gave it all with my heart and soul and never ever let anybody change me ,cus that day that the real person comes its going to be great and the bigest thing of my life.
The future may have a lot of pain but it has a lot of love and
LOVE IS PAIN!!
This night lesson.
Always take a risk dosent matter what.
Never ever stop listening to your heart.
Your gut feeling is powerful.
My babage is positiv and made me who i am today!
Until tomorow or later;)
Peace,love & Devotion
XOXO MISS C
I will never change no matter what i have to go trought,every pain is worth it cus i have a big HEART!!
Bara va.
Jag behövde verkligen en drink. En god drink med en underbar vän som kan få mig att skratta och berätta saker som kan få mig att slappna av. Ta en drink och bara snacka en massa skit om livet:) i Really so need that. Kvällen va inte planerad alls det blev i sista stunden och den blev verkligen lyckad. Tog en god drink på underbara Bolero,lyssna på skön musik och bara prata om allt möjligt. Jobbar inte ikväll och jag tänkte inte sitta hemma heller men jag ville inte festa så jag mötte upp min vän och bara chillade med livet.
Normal Happy wackos Half drink after
Jag vet att jag alltid kan gå till Amina för att må bra,hon pratar vilt,öppen,rolig,kärleksfull,hon är en fri själ som får mig att vilja flyga och må bra. Jag är glad att jag har träffat henne. Vi försöker träffas så ofta vi kan och när vi väl träffas så har vi alltid mycket att prata om och vi mår bra efteråt!
Alla behöver en sådan positiv vän som kan få dig att må bra. Jag har haft en bra fredag,en bra början på helgen. Helgen kommer att bli bra!
Dagens lärdom:
Svåra beslut kan vara positiva.
Att ta ett steg tillbaka är att inse vad som finns framför dig.
Snabba,korta beslut kan vara dömande för livet ut.
Älska alltid stort.
Alla förhållande är annorlunda,man ska inte gämföra.
Följ alltid ditt hjärta.
Until tomorow
Peace,Love & Devotion
XOXO MISS C <3
Negativ
Tyvärr är det en monlig,tråkigt negativ dag idag.
Oroa er inte,inget speciellt har hänt egentligen utan jag bara börja inse att jag gillar verkligen inte förändringar,fast det kan vara bra ibland. Ingenting verkar funka behöver ett svart hål som jag kan stoppa mitt huvuvd i och bara blunda ett tag. Låter det vettigt?.Just nu gör det för mig. Ögonen kliar,näsan rinner eller bara torr som öknen,min kropp känner sig nere mitt hjärta oprkar inte pumpa mer och mina tankar är verkligen överallt de bildar bara moln över mitt huvud istället för sol,ljus och klar himmel. Vad är det med mig?
alätt sårad,jätte känslig och helt ärligt jag tror att jag plus så många andra i landet behöver verkligen semester. Jag behöver komma bort själv och andas och hitta tillbaka till mig själv.
Under veckan fick jag veta att en gammal klasskamrat tog livet av sig. Hon va bara 25 år,hon måste verkligen ha mått dåligt för att ta det beslutet. När jag va liten så hade man sådana tankar faktiskt. Inget som förvånar utan det va verkligen normalt. Det enda som fick mig att vilja leva är viljan av att vara stark och inte låta något annat vara starkare än mig och jag fortsätter verkligen att tänka likadant. Vad gör mig glad?
Vad gör mig glad?
Dansa,chocklad,musik,flörta,mat,överraskningar(ibland),kaffe(ibland),resa,värme,bada,glass,SEX,beröring,uppmärksamhet,skratta,en bra vän,min andra halva, mina goda vänner,någon som förstår mig, fika,BARN,shoppa(ibland),spontanitet(väldigt mkt) och mycket mer.
Vad behöver jag?
Min familj,min underbara bror,min andra halva(satu),mina vänner,cone head,jobba,träna,massage,semester,må bra igen. Kan man ha 25 års kris hahaha. cus i think i got it bigg time. Är stolt över mig själv för jag har verkligen hunnit med så mycket men har jag tagit tillräckligt med risker i mitt liv,har jag gjort det jag verkligen velat? Behöver jag resa bort för en tid och bara vara själv? Ska jag börja plugga( vad isåfall), så månda frågor med inga svar. Behöver min mormor just nu iaf,hon får alltid mig att skratta och på något sätt att må bra. Miss her. Vad prioriterar jag. Mitt liv är en röra just nu(menar då jag) så tills jag vet vad som händer då kan jag börja må bra igen i hope.
Trist inlägg i know,ska börja skriva engelska så att ni vet;)...ooo exating:)
Peace,Love & Devotion
XOXO MISS C
Stum!
Jag vet inte vad jag ska lyssna på,vart jag ska titta eller vad jag ska säga jag blir helt STUM! Är det möjligt? jag brukar ju alltid ha något att säga. Men just nu är det en sådan krångel i mitt liv och huvuvd att jag inte vet hur jag ska lösa upp knuten och vart jag ska börja. Mitt liv är inte direkt en gåta men fick höra att jag är det. Man vet inte riktigt vart man har mig och hur jag tänker medans jag säger att jag är en öppen bok bara man våga läsa mig och verkligen fördjupa sig i min historia så förstår man handlingen samt innehållet. Jag känner själv att jag däremot håller på att försvinna lite. Glimten i ögat,glada,busiga och listiga Claudia börjar att försvinna mer och mer:( tråkigt. Det beror inte på något speciellt (i think) tror att det har med livet att göra. Man blir allvarligare,tar saker på annat sätt,man tappar gnistan lite grann och tänker på viktigare saker än att busa. Barnet inom sig borde aldrig förloras. Barnet inom dig är viktigt att bevara och visa då och då. Barnet inom dig är det logiska,roliga,barnsliga och det oskyldiga. Förlorar vi det så förlorar vi oss själva. Tyvärr känns det som att det håller på att försvinna iallafall för tillfället. Behöver hitta gnistan igen inom mig som många ser. Vad behöver jag egentligen? Eller vad vill jag egentligen utav livet i sig.
Dagens lärdom:
Ta ett andetag,stressa inte.
Vissa saker vet man inte utan det kommer av sig själv.
Försök att fånga dagen.
Solen kommer fram snart inom dig.
Lågan är inte släckt den brinner men den är svag,dags att få den att brinna starkare.
Visa inte för mycket,håll kvar mycket och ge lite i taget.
Jag är för snäll.
Jag visar alldeles för mkt på en gång.
Kärleken inom mig tar aldrig slut.
För känslig går det aldrig att vara man bara är.
Våga alltid ta risken med någon som är värt det!
Until tomorow
Peace,Love & Devotion
XOXO MISS C
Allt blir fel!
Allt blir bara fel!! Vad jag än gör så blir det fel,rätta tankar men fel reaktioner. Försöker göra det bästa men det blir bara kaos:( Jag lyckas inte med något rätt!! Så frustrerande,jag blir bara sur,besviken och arg på mig själv. Jag önskar jag kunde trycka på nödbromsen och stoppa mitt liv från att fortsätta och sen tänka efter nästa steg och trycka på PLAY igen. Varför gör jag det så komplicerat. Varför kan jag inte bara vara mig själv i alla stunder med han:S Blir så känslig,ofokuserad,generad och blyg. Sen när är jag blyg,jag tar alltid risker och gör saker som jag vill och hur jag vill men med han blir det bara fel. Det är inte hans fel men får det att verka så. Han kan inte läsa mina tankar fast jag önskar ibland att han kunde det. Äsh jobbigt att vara kvinna ibland,speciellt idag. Blandade känslor och jag vill må bra! Jag vill skriiiiiikkkkaaaa men det går inte(väcker området) så jag får försöka tala om hur jag känner som alla andra kvinnor. Förstår hur ni män tröttnar t.o.m jag tröttnar:P
Ikväll ska det dansas och jag måste bara fucka ur.
Peace,Love & Devotion
Until tomorow maybey
XOXO MISS C
